My name is Ashleigh, I am 25 years old and I’ve just started working in my first full time job after finishing university. I got involved with Hope Again after my Dad died in 2016 from cancer. He died 23 days before my 19th birthday after nearly 6 years of living with cancer. I may be biased but he really was the ‘Best Dad in the World’!! I joined this grief club without ever wanting to and I’m sure many of you feel the same.

Please see below my letter to my Dad on this upcoming Father’s Day.. wherever he may be. 

Dear Daddy,

How will you be spending Father’s Day? I wish I knew. I wish you could tell me. I hope the 19th is filled with all the things you love. You were a simple man, never wished for much. You didn’t like much of a fuss. It was just another day to you. 

I know physically you aren’t here anymore, but you’re still my Daddy, you will always be my Daddy.. no matter how much time passes, no matter what age I am. 

I don’t know how you’ll be spending your Father’s Day, but I can tell you how I’ll be spending mine. I’ll be remembering you, like I do everyday. I’ll visit your grave and place the hippie van I planted with flowers near your headstone. I’ll share my fondest memories of you and us together. I’ll flick through Instagram and FaceBook seeing the endless posts attributed to Dads. It’ll hurt, like it always does.. but it will also remind me of those blessed 18 years I did have with you. I’ll feel every emotion that comes my way as I know grief is the price we pay for love.

I feel abit more experienced now in grief, in my own grief anyway. These feelings are familiar, as this will be my 7th Father’s Day navigating through them. I remember reading a quote which said ‘be the things you love most about the people who are gone’. It’s always stuck with me.

Daddy, I will continue trying everyday to be more like you. To be more like the wonderful human-being you were. We need more of you in this world. I really wish you were still here. But, I feel like I’ll see you again. I hope I’ll see you again.

All my love, your proud daughter, Ash x. 

This letter is for anyone who’s Father’s Day isn’t how they’d wish for it to be. I hope this letter can encourage you to write a letter to your loved one or to express how you are feeling in a way which feels right to you. You’re never alone in your grief, contact us for support if you’re struggling: hopeagain@cruse.org.uk.