"Your pain becomes my pain just as your hope becomes my hope."


These are your stories, chosen from your real-life experiences of grief and hope. Thank you so much to all of you young people for having the courage to share your story with us.

These powerful stories have been emailed to us personally by brave young people from across the globe, who are willing to share their experience of loss to try and help other people in the same situation. I find it so inspiring and courageous that these young people will give a little piece of their lives to try and alleviate somebody's pain. Expressing your story in this way can help lift the burden off your own shoulders, and also make other people feel less isolated in their own grief. Please send us your story, as it can help so many others find hope again.

-Victoria at Hope Again

Sibling loss is sadly a very common occurrence, as you can see from Lauren's story, amongst many others. Mel Maxwell's book, 'The Coat I Wear', tells the story of a grieving child following the bereavement of their sibling. This powerful book conveys the pain a child or young person can go through after a loss, but in a comforting manner. Take a look at it here: www.thecoatiwear.com

Kayla

On 02/01/18 my granddad was admitted into hospital because he was really ill. it all started in September 2017, it all began with a cough and it got worse every month... the doctor told us that something was wrong with his liver and that it was really bad. so when we arrived at the hospital, I was supposed to go in with him and my grandmother (who I live with) but my mom said to stay in the car, so I did and my mom came back and said that it was best if I didn't go into the hospital. I was cool with it at the time. The next day (January 3rd) I went to the cinema with my stepdad's parents... 2 hours later I got home and my stepdad was home and my mom and grandmother wasn't, they were still at the hospital.

2 hours later my mom phoned my stepdad, he said that my granddad had passed away at 8:30pm. I was in floods of tears as I never got to say goodbye to him. when my mom came home she said that my granddad died of liver cancer, we never knew he had cancer..... it was such a hard time. we had no idea what to do, during the pain I was going through; I had flashbacks of all the bad things that happened to me in the past. few months ago.. September/ October I found a pack of cigarettes in my granddads car, when he said he had quit smoking, I told my mom about it and I'd gotten that feeling that something bad would've happened. I never wanted to jinx it and now I regret jinxing it. music and drawing have helped me go through the pain and struggles. I missed my granddad so much, I really did love him so much...

he always loved his gardening and down to the allotment to do his gardening... so I decided a few days ago to take over his allotment and the people there are so nice that they offered to help me when I need it. at least my granddad isn't in so much pain anymore and is up In heaven, watching down on us...

Victoria talks about losing her dad to suicide.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Max

Almost three years ago now my mum lost her brave fight against cancer, 26/9/16, the date i'll never forget, she was never the type to complain, my dad explained to me how bad it was, she was always screaming in pain, she had stomach cancer but didn't get diagnosed 1 week before she sadly passed, she was always getting discharged from the hospital and getting sent back home but every week she always went back in as her partner was really worried and wanted her to get treatment, the hospital wasted her time, she had multiple tests etc, but it was far too late when she was diagnosed, it was a really rough time for me and im still finding it hard now as i'm in disbelief, she was my world and i never got to say goodbye, she got moved to trinity hospice where they took great care of her, she didn't want me to see the state she was in, i couldn't recognise her until i got close, my eyes filled up with tears, i wish i done more to help her, i've started blaming myself for this, as my dad is now blaming me for his health issues, not a single day passes when i don't think about her....

Listen to Leah, someone who was helped by Hope Again, talk about her struggle with self harming and how she got the support she needed to overcome this. For more information please visit: www.hopeagain.org.uk June 2017.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ali

My mum passed away just after my 14th birthday. This week I am approaching my 17th birthday and I am hopeful for the future. I used to dread birthdays, as it always reminded me of the one person who was not there to celebrate it with me. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my mum. However, I am determined to succeed in my upcoming a-levels and become a Doctor like my mother. Whilst birthdays have always compounded my sense of loss, being hopeful has enabled me to enshrine a positive mental attitude that will see me through to the future. My advice to anyone facing the loss of a loved one is to train yourself to think positively. Celebrate their life and make sure you do them proud.

Rachel

When I was fourteen years old, my best friend Sophie committed suicide in 2016 - she was missing for about twelve hours before she was found hanging from a tree in the woods on the outskirts of our town by a man walking his dog, who then called the Police. She was 13 years old. I was at school when my friend Amy phoned me and told me to sit down - she then told me that Sophie had died, less than 45 minutes after she found out herself. The teachers at my school then pulled me out of my lesson and I was taken to a room with two Police officers, who told me themselves and sent me home. It was all over the newspapers, the television, and social media, and there was no escape from the fact that she had killed herself. The next week, I returned to school, and my teachers told me that I needed to catch up from where I had been away - all of my classmates stared at me and some even asked questions, especially about how she died or if I knew that she was going to kill herself. Some vile people poked fun about the fact that she had self harmed in the past and said that it was all an attention-seeking scam.

Since Sophie died, I have been up, and I have been down. 7 months after her death, when her inquest took place, my friends, her family and I were thrown into despair when The Daily Mail wrote about her - they exaggerated the fact that she was bisexual by making it the first word in their headline, and they said that it was the fault of her friends that she killed herself. They then pinned the blame on her mum, who died when she was three, and they also said that it was her girlfriend's fault that she went and killed herself. I don't think anybody should receive newspaper abuse - and we, as teenagers, shouldn't have had adults blame us for her death when we were still trying to get to grips with it all.

We had Sophie's one year memorial in the middle of June, and we all wrote letters - I consider myself incredibly lucky that I can say that I was not only her friend or classmate, but her best friend, and I am very privileged to have memories that I will cherish forever with a beautiful and kind friend I will forever hold within my heart. I hope that she's finally happy and that she isn't in pain anymore, and I desperately hope that she finds her mum.

Lauren

My dad was a house husband and raised myself and my brother whilst my mum worked. He was so reliable - if I needed him he would be there without question. We had the same sense of humour and strong moral outlook on life. Whilst I was away on holiday with my boyfriend 6 months ago my dad suffered a huge unexpected heart attack and there was nothing that paramedics could do to save him. My mum was by his side when it happened and she has taught me that you have just got to focus on all of the great things in your life and all you have to be thankful for. I had 22 years of unconditional love and friendship with my amazing, caring dad (and it doesn't just end now he's gone)- some people can't even say that. It is still raw and I don't think I have fully accepted that this has happened, but I can say that the initial few weeks and months after you lose someone do ease gently and you will be able to function again. Remember that you were lucky enough to know and love the person you have lost and they will always be with you.

Kye

In early 2016, at 70 years old my Grandfather passed away. My whole life was influenced by him, my music, food, hobbies, interests and even personality is due to him. He taught me to read, write, tell the time and more recently fix a car, drive a tractor, use a jackhammer and even how to shear sheep and milk cattle and many other things. He was the most significant member, and therefore the most significant death, in my whole entire life! He has another 3 grandchildren, but always said I was the favourite because I spent more time with him and was therefore more interested in his work and so on. He was diagnosed with bowel, liver and prostate cancer and each day for him (as he said himself) was a, "last grasp for life." He said that just simply knowing that one day his heart will stop worried him immensely, and that although he'd said all along that he will only live until 70, he never wanted to leave "his people." Everyone admired him, and when it all became too much for him he was sent to hospital where he spent I believe a month. I visited the day before he passed away, and although he had no energy to do anything else he said that he has saved just enough to hold my hand all the time throughout that day, which is what he did. he never once let go during my 5 hours spent with him. The day later, he committed suicide and although the hospital should have been keeping an eye on him, as he had attempted before, I understood that he had seen me and decided that was the last thing on earth he wanted to see before he passed, so that he could remember my smile. I imagine his corpse in the bed with a bag on its head, and it pains me so much to know that so many other people have to go through the same thing. Just know you're not alone.

Nicole

My mum died in August 2016. She suffered with breast cancer for about 1 and a half years. When I found out she had cancer I was really upset. I didn't know how I would cope. She had chemotherapy and an operation to remove the lump and she was told that the cancer had gone. She went back to the hospital a few months later after feeling another lump in her breast. She was told the cancer had come back and they couldn't save her. She died in hospital a few months later. When she died I was really upset and I had no idea how I would cope with it. I am now currently seeing a Cruse bereavement counsellor and it is really helping me cope better with the loss. At first I wouldn't talk to anyone and i was bottling things up and I feel much better now I am able to speak about how I feel.

Rebecca

13.05.15 the day heaven gained a piece of my heart 💔 My granddad was a true gentleman.. He was my best friend, just 13 days before he died he was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumour and we were told there was nothing the doctors could do.. so we brought him home and made him comfortable. Me, my mum and my nana looked after him 24/7 for his last days.. which completely broke my heart in to a million pieces. I miss and love him each and every day. People say it gets easier.. It doesn't!! You just learn how to live with it. Fly high gromps xxx

Shannon

In March 2015, my brother got into a serious accident, involving him on a motorcycle and a woman in a car, who was carelessly driving. They had a collision and my brother suffered severe injuries, including damage to his liver from the handle bars of the motorcycle, broken ribs, fractured wrists, a broken arm and serious brain bleeds. He was rushed to hospital from the scene, where he went into surgery for his liver. When he came out of surgery he was put in a critical care unit for 2 days. He had loads of machines that kept him breathing, which doctors said would give him strength if he was still alive. They performed Brain Death Stem tests, which confirmed that he was no longer with us and was taken off the machines. The pain is still very raw, he was my best friend- the only person I have and would ever confide in. However, I know now, he is in a much better place. Everyone says the pain will fade, but it doesn't we just learn to cope with the pain in the best way possible. If anyone has ever lost their brother, I know we all deal with things differently but I know your pain, and one day we will be able to look back on our memories and smile instead of crying helplessly.

Angela

My grandpa was called Bob, he was a really lovely old man u would of liked to meet and see him right now. I just would love if he was with me, I just would love it so much if I could just see him. When I was a little girl I was his little girl while he was living and one Christmas I would always help him with unwrapping his gifts from the family and every time I look back I just remember him just sitting there and me just standing with him and his gift on his lap. I would do anything for him to be with me right now.

I am so sorry for the people who have lost loved ones in their family and I wish I was someone with magic powers so I could bring all of their loved ones back to life. I am just sitting here thinking about all of us and just thinking " I wish I could just see his or her face one more time".