"Your pain becomes my pain just as your hope becomes my hope."
These are your stories, chosen from your real-life experiences of grief and hope. Thank you so much to all of you young people for having the courage to share your story with us.
These powerful stories have been emailed to us personally by brave young people from across the globe, who are willing to share their experience of loss to try and help other people in the same situation. I find it so inspiring and courageous that these young people will give a little piece of their lives to try and alleviate somebody's pain. Expressing your story in this way can help lift the burden off your own shoulders, and also make other people feel less isolated in their own grief. Please send us your story, as it can help so many others find hope again.
-Victoria at Hope Again
Sibling loss is sadly a very common occurrence, as you can see from Shannen's story, amongst many others. Mel Maxwell's book, 'The Coat I Wear', tells the story of a grieving child following the bereavement of their sibling. This powerful book conveys the pain a child or young person can go through after a loss, but in a comforting manner. Take a look at it here: www.thecoatiwear.com
In March 2015, my brother got into a serious accident, involving him on a motorcycle and a woman in a car, who was carelessly driving. They had a collision and my brother suffered severe injuries, including damage to his liver from the handle bars of the motorcycle, broken ribs, fractured wrists, a broken arm and serious brain bleeds. He was rushed to hospital from the scene, where he went into surgery for his liver. When he came out of surgery he was put in a critical care unit for 2 days. He had loads of machines that kept him breathing, which doctors said would give him strength if he was still alive. They performed Brain Death Stem tests, which confirmed that he was no longer with us and was taken off the machines. The pain is still very raw, he was my best friend- the only person I have and would ever confide in. However, I know now, he is in a much better place. Everyone says the pain will fade, but it doesn't we just learn to cope with the pain in the best way possible. If anyone has ever lost their brother, I know we all deal with things differently but I know your pain, and one day we will be able to look back on our memories and smile instead of crying helplessly.
My grandpa was called Bob, he was a really lovely old man u would of liked to meet and see him right now. I just would love if he was with me, I just would love it so much if I could just see him. When I was a little girl I was his little girl while he was living and one Christmas I would always help him with unwrapping his gifts from the family and every time I look back I just remember him just sitting there and me just standing with him and his gift on his lap. I would do anything for him to be with me right now.
I am so sorry for the people who have lost loved ones in their family and I wish I was someone with magic powers so I could bring all of their loved ones back to life. I am just sitting here thinking about all of us and just thinking " I wish I could just see his or her face one more time".
My big brother Ben passed away in June 2015 from cancer. Our house feels empty without him because now I am an only child. But I am starting to do things like gymnastics that my brother loved watching me do. I am starting to train a lot harder to make him proud.
Three years go on 22nd April 2012, my dad committed suicide. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss him and think about him. Still to this day I do not understand why he did it, I know how it feels to lose your dad. So anyone out there that is struggling and thinks they are alone. You are not. I know things seem hard to start with but things will start to change and I don't like the thought of you suffering alone, so please don't. There is people out there to help. ❤
My brother died July 2011 from bowel cancer, he was diagnosed May 2009. He was 16 when he died, I am still coming to terms with it, I wouldn’t be able to take him out for his pint, and we can’t recreate childhood photos. I made myself stay in the room when he died, even though I knew it would be upsetting, but that is something I know I will never regret, because each moment is precious, no matter how small. I regret not telling him every day how much I loved him. After my brother died I isolated myself from my friends and family, so I got sent to counselling for a few months, but I wasn’t ready to talk about it, so I buried myself in my A-level work. I still send him private facebook messages sometimes even though I know he won’t see them. When he first died I would buy him birthday and Christmas cards, write on them and burn them in the garden as a way of sending him messages so he could read them. We played ‘on my way’ the version from ‘brother bear’ at his funeral when we took the coffin out of the church, I still can’t listen to that without crying. September 2012 I started university, as I had not talked about it, all the grief had built up and I would just burst into tears from the silliest thing, someone saying ‘protection’, this started to interfere with my ability to study so I made the decision to start to attend counselling again. I am now in my third and final year, looking into masters programmes, I talk more to my friends and I am in a more stable mind set with less frequent ‘crying breakdowns’, I’m still finding it difficult to express my emotions especially in front of other people but I am on the way to acceptance of moving forward with my life without my brother, I still miss him so much.
My little sister Becky died on 2nd March 2015 very suddenly. Simply its agony. I'm in my first year at uni and having returned its hard, but I've found that people want to help, although most don't know how.
Grief comes in waves, some times you can cope and be happy and there is nothing wrong with that, and other times something small will trigger off a tidal wave of emotion that makes you want to crawl in bed and hide, that's okay too.
Just keep getting up in the morning and keep on talking to people and doing things, because I know Becky is there, and I know that she wouldn't want my life to stop because hers did. Most of all I know there is a huge hole that physically hurts in my chest, I know how proud I am of her and much I love her and always will. It will get better.
My Dad died of a stroke on Christmas eve 2013. I had just started my first year of university. The majority of my friends from home completely withdrew from my life and I never had the chance to make any close friends at university before my world came crashing down. A few months later my grandma had a serious accident and she too passed away. I felt so alone, so isolated, like no one understood what I was going through. I was also so angry at the world for doing this to me. Just over a year on things are still really tough, but I'm so grateful for the few friends who did stick by my side and I'm closer to my family as a result of it. For the first time I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
My dad passed away on the 21st of June 2011 and still to this day I'm sad, I also lost my nan in November 2009, the only grandparent I ever knew so that was also very hard for me. Along the way I have lost several other people including my great auntie Mary, but close family friends mainly, its been so hard and just recently I lost another family friend to cancer and I honestly thought that would be the last thing for me, I thought my depression would come back and ruin my life some more, but like each and every person I've lost has told me, I have to stay strong, stay brave and live my life, don't just be in it, live it to the fullest, the best I can and I can achieve whatever I want, we can all be happy, regardless how hard it gets, pick yourself up, be sad when necessary and don't dwell on the past, the future is what holds the key to happiness. Just have hope and love, stay strong beautiful people <3
On the 24th September 2012 my big sister Amanda was killed in a car crash. She was 13 weeks pregnant as well. It’s been 7 months since she died and I’m finding it really hard but what I’ve realised is that your family and friends help a lot with dealing with all these feelings. I loved her a lot and I never got to say good-bye. Make sure before a loved one of yours leaves out that door make sure you tell them that you love them.
My Dad passed away in September 2014 from Cancer, he had been battling the disease for 3 years. I remember the day he was diagnosed, my mum and him were at the hospital all day awaiting scans and I was sorta left in the dark about it all. By the end of the day she came back by herself and just burst out crying as she entered the house, from that moment I knew it was bad. Throughout these 3 years there have been many hard times, I have been juggling between university and my life back at home but luckily my family are so close so they supported me and we battled this disease with him. He was honestly the most caring person I have ever known, even random people from my home town know of him just because of his notorious generosity and warmth to people. The day he died, it was as if a huge part of me just went missing, it felt like what was the point in life. Someone u love and care about so much is taken from you and it effects not just you but everyone around you. One of the hardest things has actually been that I think about how hard it is for my mum, they came as a pair, they did everything together and now it just seems empty and alone in the house for her. I travel back most weekends from University just to see her and spend time with her, but i always think about her everyday and how she must feel being at home without him. He always had a smile on his face and when you saw him, you would always smile because he had that effect on you. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him, its so hard knowing that I won't see him again or hear him laugh. I just take some peace in thinking that somewhere he is happy and he knows how much we love him and miss him.