What is hope?

Hope is finding the strength to get out of bed on a Monday morning to face the week ahead. Hope is being a point down in the final with only 5 minutes to go. Hope is walking into an exam with the feeling that you haven't revised enough.

The definition for hope is - "a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen." Everyday, whether we are aware of it or not each one of us are hopeful for something. Whether it is something small like hoping it doesn't rain or whether it is something huge like hoping the test results come back clear. Hope is the driving force that keeps us going, having hope is so important. Having hope in something keeps us focused and determined on our journey's throughout life, hope helps us fight the battles life may throw at us and helps us stay positive and optimistic.

If you're ever feeling down and feel that you have no hope left, think of these 4 words. This is how hope can make you feel:

H - Happiness

O - Optimistic

P - Peaceful

E - Excited

Let us know what hope means to you! We would love to hear from you!

Jane, HopeAgain Web Consultant.

University: Will I be the only one?

Going to university evokes a lot of mixed emotions for young people; nervousness, excitement, apprehension, to name but a few. But how does it feel going to university after a loss?

I remember the anticipation in the car journey when moving to university; what will my room be like, will I get on with my flatmates, will I be the only one?

I remember almost having a feeling of embarrassment, as well as worry, about being the only person moving into accommodation with one parent. I felt like it defined me, and I didn't want to be labelled as 'the girl whose dad died'. I had already gone through this in school, and I felt uni was a chance to start a fresh chapter of my life. 

It was a dull pain, watching so many people moving in with the help of both their parents. I couldn't help but wonder how my dad would feel about me heading to university, if he'd be proud or concerned, or just be glad of some peace and quiet? Who knows. 

I also remember the panic of meeting all my flatmates and them asking about my parents, to which the only response I could muster was, "Oh, it's just me and my mum." I couldn't physically get the words out that my dad had passed away, but I realised that's okay. You shouldn't feel ashamed of your story, and you don't have to share it if you don't want to. After a while I got more comfortable and a lot of people started telling me about their parents' divorce, or whatever their family issue was. It was a comfort to know I wasn't as much of an outcast as I had thought. Nobody's life is perfect, and we all have our demons.

You should never worry about being different, because the world would be an awfully boring place if we were all the same. 

Summer Holiday

One of the greatest things about being off school is that family summer holiday away to somewhere sunny and exotic. However, when you've lost a loved one that trip can be a totally different experience.

Your first holiday after a bereavement can be very bittersweet. You can feel guilty for being excited, or you can just be altogether dreading it. Either way, making new traditions and enjoying the trip can make it a happier experience, but you can still remember the happy memories of your past holidays with your loved one.

When my Mum and I went on our first trip after the loss of my Dad, it was very difficult for the both of us. Everything from checking the house was safe to organising transport; it was all on my Mum. She coped so well, despite how hard it was for her. We tried new things and went somewhere different, so we could keep our old memories but make our own new ones too.

Whether you've been on a holiday this summer, or are planning to go on one soon, what do you think can make a holiday easier after losing a loved one?

Father's Day

Every year I see my friends preparing for Father's Day, searching for the perfect present and rummaging the shelves for a card he'll love. Every year I get the same overwhelming sense of nostalgia and loss, missing the days where I was also hunting for that perfect gift. 

Every year I try to avoid the whole ordeal, but with modern advertising, be it TV, email, or just the local supermarket, the subject is impossible to avoid. Waking up to six new emails, "Just in time for Father's Day!", or "Your #1 Guy: Rad gifts for Dad!", means you just can't escape it. 

It's always painful being reminded of things you want to forget, especially when it's something you're supposed to be celebrating. My advice is: don't let it consume you. Talk to your friends, family, or even your pet, about how you're feeling. You don't have to hide how you're feeling, and you can try to remember your Dad and still celebrate the time you did have together.

What line would you write for your Dad in a Father's Day Card? 

Patrick's video

When children are bereaved, more often than not they're thrown into an unfamiliar environment and lack the skills to cope with a dire change of circumstances. This is one of the many reasons I believe in the absolute importance of profiling bereavement amongst children.

Adults, often have the best of intentions in their attempts to help ease a child's pain when it comes to bereavement, but quite simply sometimes they just plain don't understand. What appears right to them might not be quite seen that way through the eyes of a child, I myself experienced this on multiple occasions. As a result, the affected young people become misheard, misunderstood, burdened and ignored, resulting in any number of problems down the line. The issues surrounding childhood bereavement therefore must be documented and made known to the outside world so that a wider audience grasps a better understanding of the 'do's and don'ts' etc...

It was a privilege to be part of a short video production this year based on the work that Cruse and Hope Again do for young people, and it is my hope that it will reach as many individuals as possible and raise maximum awareness of an often underplayed and misunderstood issue.

Patrick

To check out Patrick's video, follow this link: www.hopeagain.org.uk/hope-again-videos/