mothers day

Mother's Day 2021

What do you do on Mother’s Day, without your Mum, motherly figure, or the one that made you a mum? It can feel like you are the only person in the world who can’t spend Mother’s Day how you’d like to. Truthfully, there’s a whole community out there of young people feeling the very same way today. Understandably, that doesn’t make you miss your own loved one any less, but it can help you to feel less alone.

We wanted to share some tips with you on how you could best support yourself today:

  • Write a letter to your loved one on all the things you wish you could share with them,

  • Write a letter to yourself as a reminder of how far you’ve come. Or, if you’re struggling in your grief, let it out, put it down onto a page,

  • Read Bridget’s honest letter to herself after the loss of her Mum at 15, here,

  • Make a memory box. Your box can include any letters you’ve written, photographs, your loved ones belongings.. anything you’d like to add. It’s comforting to have a memory box to go to when your grief feels heavier than usual,

  • Write a Mother’s Day card or buy flowers to display as an act of remembrance,

  • Visit your loved ones grave, the place where their ashes were scattered or somewhere that mattered to you both,

  • Practice self-care - take time to do something for you. Grief is overwhelming and tiring. Take time to look after yourself and recharge,

  • Leave a loving tribute alongside a photo of your loved one on Cruse Bereavement Care’s ‘Yellow Hearts’ dedication page, here,

  • Switch off from social media. Sometimes, social media isn’t helpful on days like today. However, it can help you to feel less alone. You’ll know what is best for you, but don’t hesitate to disconnect if needed,

  • Make arrangements to fill your day. Or, make no arrangements at all (do what feels right for you).

At the end of the day, there is no denying how difficult a special occasion like Mother’s Day is without your Mum/motherly figure or the one who made you a mum, by your side. We hope that reading this post will help you feel less alone and that it will give you ways to help you cope. We really hope you feel your special ones love all around you more than ever today.

They are more of you than you know and with you forever in your heart.

If you are struggling today, the free Cruse helpline is open from 10am-2pm on:

0808 808 1677 or you can email us at: hopeagain@cruse.org.uk.

If you’d like, please comment below your thoughts or even your loved ones name as a way to remember, we’d love to read them!

It might even help another young person on their grief journey.

Father's Day

Every year I see without fail the same patterns occur around Father's Day:

My peers and acquaintances getting flustered and edgy when it's mentioned because to them the date can't be brought up around me in case I burst into tears and become inconsolable.

In fact, most avoid the topic of my Father altogether for fear of a similar reaction. Truthfully though avoiding the topic of bereavement is understandable, whether or not it would provoke an emotional reaction, most people would just rather not take the risk.

Nevertheless, being a bereaved child is by no means the taboo that some regard it to be. Hopefully by sharing, talking and supporting each other we can help dispel such myths.

Patrick, guest blogger

Would you comment here about your first Mother/Father's Day without your parent?